It’s my mother’s Birthday. Daddy and I have a special schedule today. We have to visit the baker’s , the gift shop and the florist . We have ordered a Rose cake this time, Rose being mother’s favourite flower . Mother’s Birthday is a quiet affair . We just invite my maternal grandparents and Misha (my mother’s sister and best friend).
I need to call my grandparents to remind them about bringing along my mother’s favourite red velvet dress that she had received on her 18th birthday as a gift from her parents. I might wear it today, if it fits me . I turned 18 last month.
We make a fresh collage out of copies of Maa’s pic and put our Birthday cards on the collage too. Daddy and Maa look so gorgeous in the photos , especially the one with Maa in a lilac dress. My favourite , however, is the picture where she is holding me as a newborn , I can feel maa’s warm embrace traversing the decades .
When I was 4, Daddy had told me “Your maa is one with the stars in the sky, now. “I had anxiously asked as to when I would see her again. “After a long long time , perhaps“ , he had said with a searing sense of helplessness. I had heard these details from Misha , when I was old enough to understand that I would NEVER see my maa, again.
Daddy and I have included Maa in all our celebrations . We carry a red rose to her resting place, every time we have a good news to share – my general proficiency certificates since grade 1 , my music awards , picture of our new home . Misha tells me a lot of stories about maa. She was a vivacious person, brimming with life . Her pictures are a testimony to that .
Memories are tricky things – too little could make one feel incomplete and too much could make happiness a dream. Daddy hardly mentions her , except while responding to my questions. I rarely ask him about maa , now that I understand. I dreamt of her the other day- Daddy , maa and I enjoying family picnic beside the lake , the place echoing with irrepressible happiness .In these precious fleeting dreams, I get a sense of heaven and the hopeful “forever”.